Community Levee Association

Marriage Needs and Builds Maturity I read with interest "Matrimony: Eat, Pray, Love, Then Commit" (Weekend Journal, Jan. 2). Author Elizabeth Gilbert advises people to not "get married when you're 20 years old," and she says that marriage requires that we "check at least a few of our most idealistic youthful dreams at the door before entering."

My husband and I were married when I was 22 and he was 25. Our union has been tried in ways I never thought possible, and we have dealt with each of the "Big Three" issues that marriage counselors say often lead to divorce: sex, money and in-laws. Now, 2½ years into the marriage and almost one baby later, we are closer, more in love and more committed than we were when we married—without a prenuptial agreement but with a commitment to work out problems and stay happily married. We married the old-fashioned way: young and for life.

I think the grandest "idealistic dream" that 21st-century Americans need to check at the door is the idea that 30 or 40 years of living with few responsibilities and little accountability will prepare them for a stable, happy marriage. Upon graduating from high school I did something few people my age do any more: I moved out of my parents' house, got a job, worked my way through college and lived in cheap, crowded apartments with several roommates and without a car, cell phone, or any money from my parents. More so than 30 years of partying and "finding myself," these experiences helped shape me into a woman who was ready for marriage. If we want to make peace with marriage we need to grow up enough to accept the responsibilities it entails.

Nicholette Lambert

South Jordan, Utah